Singing Nut Chicken

The first thing we usually grab when we go to get our food is the salad.

When I saw that today's salad was full of cucumbers, I also noticed the Lunch Lady was just ahead of me in line, so I asked her why we have cucumbers in our salad every day.


She just smiled.

Ugh.

I sometimes ask the kids I'm sitting with at lunch why they think we have cucumbers almost every day. The most common answer I get is, "They're cheap."

One kid who agreed with me that cucumbers are overrated told me that, according to a study, cucumbers are the vegetable with the least amount of nutrients. Hmmm... I wonder.

I did eat the salad, but as you guessed, I wasn't that pleased with it.

I also ate my soup, but I made it a point to tell the kids who were sitting with me that the soup had absolutely zero flavor.

The main course (cashew nut chicken) was OK, but not as good as it would have been had it not been so greasy and had the portion not been so tiny. That's why I tried to lighten and fluff it up with the rice. Also, in contrast to what you are served in a Chinese restaurant, there were far more cashews than chicken.

At least this meal provides me with a good running joke.

You see, "cashew" in English sounds a lot like both "cashew (nut)" and "singer" in Japanese, so whenever we have this meal, I ask some of the kids, "How do you say 'singer' in Japanese?" and, as soon as they answer, I show them a cashew (nut).

That gets them every time!

Total points: 5

Super-Sized Salmon

According to the menu, we were having fried fish today.

What the menu didn't say was that the fish was salmon, my favorite, so that was a pleasant surprise.

I do wish the salmon hadn't been deep-fried, but you can't win them all.


At least the food staff tried to spice up the meal a bit by coating the batter with sesame seeds, which certainly helped.

Check out how big that piece is, too. I guess the cooks must have been in a good mood today, because they certainly weren't skimping on the food.

Or were they?

Take a look at the soup, for instance. Can you say: "Thin"?

Then again, we were served a pretty sizable portion of "macaroni salad" (which, of course, included cucumber), which makes me wonder if the watery soup was perhaps an aberration.

The other great thing about this meal is that I got to the cafeteria early enough to get some of my favorite (toasted sesame) dressing without having to ask for it!

Hooray for that!

Total points: 6

Chinese (Please) Take (It) Away

This was yet another disappointing meal.

I think the only thing that was nice about this one was that it didn't come with a cucumber salad. It's amazing that the Lunch Lady didn't toss some of the green stuff onto the plate of "college potatoes," just to piss me off.


She wouldn't really have had to do that, though, because the potatoes themselves were bad enough. I usually give them to someone right away, but this time I decided to eat one. Next time I'll pass, especially if we get these again in the winter. The piece I had was practically cold as ice, which is not a good thing when you're freezing.

The soup, however, was hot, so I actually enjoyed eating/drinking that.

There was no way I was going to touch the main course ("Chinese Surprise), however, so I gave that to you know who.

Soup plus one measly potato is not exactly my idea of lunch. Maybe this one should have been reserved for college dropouts.

Total points: 2

Salad Says: "Don't Eat Me!"

This is one of the scariest meals that we are ever served. The only two things that saved this one from being a total disaster were:

1) The cubes of salmon in the soup; and

2) The few decent-sized chunks of potato in my bowl of, err, um, slop.

Aside from those two bits of food, I passed on the soup and the main dish.

I did eat my entire serving of salad, but I was this close to giving that away, too. It's not that the salad tasted terrible, but rather that it was so darn bland. It's like the salad was screming, "Don't eat me!"

I probably should have listened.

Amazingly, however, HVC was at it again.

He'll eat anything.

I usually explain to others that he can eat so much because he has no "off" switch, but today I joked that he always on auto-pilot.

Take a look at the picture of all that food in front of him and you'll see what I mean. (Oh, and by the way, if you look really carefully, you should be able to see that there's another salad bowl underneath the black bowl. C-r-a-z-y!)

HVC really did eat all that food, too, honest.

I'll never understand how he manages to get all that food down.

Total points: 2

Strawberry Curry Substitute

This was actually one of the better meals we've had lately.

Granted, today was Friday and we didn't have curry, but this was as good a substitute as any, and, since I definitely prefer bread to rice, this meal had an immediate advantage over the standard fare.

The salad was the oddest part of this meal, because I couldn't figure out if it was a fruit salad or not. I mean, the menu clearly said we were going to have "fruit salad," but that's obviously not what we were served, unless you call including a few bits of fruit in a cucumber salad "fruit salad."

The Lunch Lady is what's fruity, not my salad.

As for the main course, which was basically vegetable cream soup, well, I could certainly have done without the cream, but the dish did go well with the bread, and the vegetables that were in it really were vegetables. Overall, I was pretty happy with that part of the meal.

The dessert (strawberry mousse) was a bit of a letdown, perhaps because it wasn't creamy enough for my taste, but I definitely liked it and I actually managed to snag seconds (the last one!).

I just wish every meal came with a dessert.

Total points: 7

Yes, Fish Have Balls

Today's meal, as per usual, was really nothing special.

Check out the salad, for instance. Notice the cucumber? Yeah, me too! Well, luckily there was some tuna in there, too, which made it much more palatable. Seriously, though, I'm really getting sick of cucumber.

Next up, we have the soup, which was miso-based (yuck!) yet again. The only part of the soup that I touched was the fish balls (I bet you didn't know that fish had balls!), which you can barely see in the picture.

Finally, we have the main course, which was "ginger pork." The pork itself was pretty good, but what's with the side of veggies? Just look at them. The cabbage was overcooked and the carrots were bland. No surprise there, eh?

In case you're wondering what the rice was doing on my tray, well, I took that to go with the pork. The rice didn't help much, however.

Go figure.

Total points: 5

Take A Chance On Me

I tend to stay away from this spicy tofu concoction, but alas, unlike the last time we had this meal, there was no sporting event planned for the afternoon that excluded me from eating it.

Nevertheless, I still consider the meal pretty darn scary, which is why I have the rice.


I figure, as long as I dampen the "hot" effect using the rice, my stomach should be good to go.

Somehow, that trick seems to have worked, too. (I'll leave it at that.)

As for the salad, well, I wasn't about to eat that, since it had both spinach and ham in it, neither of which I can say I enjoy eating.

I did eat/drink my soup, however, but it was nothing to write a blog about.

In other words, I did open my mouth and let the soup in, but I don't remember tasting anything at all.

Total points: 4

Fish, Doubled

The surprising thing about this meal is that I actually ate/drank my soup.

I guess I did that because there wasn't anything all that disgusting in it. I'm not exactly a fan of "alien" potatoes, but they aren't awful, and the rest of the soup was pretty harmless.


Also, since the weather was cold and the soup was warm, I couldn't resist.

I did pass on the salad, however. The girl I gave it to was surprised that I didn't even taste it first, but I've been around here long enough to know what I like and what I don't like.

The same girl was also the lucky recipient of the spoonful of daikon that was sitting next to my fish, which made her pretty happy.

And check this out: The fish was tasty enough that I got seconds.

It wasn't my favorite (salmon), but the spices that covered the skin helped to make the fish rather yummy, indeed.

Total points: 5

The Winner Is: The Strawberries!

Today we had the ol' family meal, which is obvious from looking at the picture, right?

I know I've mentioned this before, but what is missing from my tray is the milk that I gave away before I took the photo, as well as the yogurt drink that I normally get in place of milk. Maybe one day my "family" will get it right.


I also have to mention, as I have before, that I still don't understand why just about everyone insists on putting that bread on a plate. Ugh.

Speaking of bread, I bet you know that I dunked mine in that soup-like main course, huh? Surprisingly, it actually had quite a bit of flavor, but there was no way I was going to dig in, especially because of them beans. (Well, I did eat the one potato that was buried in there, but nothing else.) Luckily, giving the dish away, as always, was easy as 1-2-3.

The salad was also actually rather good, but I have no idea why the Lunch Lady is back to insisting on putting cucumber in every salad we get. Just check it out. It's almost like she remembered at the last second to toss a few slices of the green stuff in there. Ridiculous.

Despite the cucumber issue, I probably should have gotten seconds of the salad, considering it went from a side dish to a main course in a hurry.

All that was left to eat was the strawberries, which were great. Too bad no one offered me any of theirs, however, because I had plenty of room in my stomach to spare.

Total points: 4

A First -- Hump Day Curry!

I guess the Lunch Lady actually does use her head sometimes.

You see, curry is usually reserved for Fridays, but since we are going skiing tomorrow and Friday, today is basically this week's Friday. Better yet, the Lunch Lady noticed!


In other words, it's Hump Day Curry! Hooray!

I even managed to get to the cafeteria relatively early, which meant three things:

1) I was sure to get rice;

2) The servers gave me a rather big portion of curry; and

3) I was able to choose between vanilla and strawberry yogurt for dessert.

Life is good when you're not at the back of the line.

It's really a shame that the salad sucked, however, since that took away any chance this one had of scoring a perfect 10.

Total points: 8

(Note: Because we are going skiing for the rest of the week, the next post won't appear until Monday.)

Mr. And Mrs. Cucumber, Where Are You?

Today's meal was a tribute to 1955.

Since Mister Donut wasn't around until the following year, folks back then had to settle for deep-fried bread, instead.

I hope whoever came up with that idea didn't get a prize.

I'm not much of a fan of donuts, especially Mister Donut donuts (which I found to be absolutely terrible after finally having my first taste four years after I arrived in Japan!), but I'd much rather have donuts than fried bread.

I usually give away my entire three-piece portion, but today I decided to indulge in one of the pieces, for old times' sake.

The verdict: I had forgotten how flavorless fried bread was. At least I didn't have the feeling that the wannabe donut was going to make me sick.

Needless to say, it was easy to find takers for the other two pieces.

Obviously, the Lunch Lady equated the fried bread with rice, so besides the "side dish" we also got a main course, mistakenly (and humorously) called "porkbeans."

I'm not that interested in eating pork, and I'm certainly not interested in eating beans (Gas, anyone?), so I grabbed the bowl that had the most potatoes. At least those were good.

I could have had dessert, too, which was "milk pudding," but I passed on that as well, since I figured I would be eating mostly chemicals, rather than anything meaningful.

(Fried) bread and potatoes. Sure makes for a nice meal, eh?

Today, for once, I probably would have been happy to see my friends, Mr. and Mrs. Cucumber.

Total points: 3

Super Onigiri

Today's meal was a tribute to 1889.

Personally, though, I don't really see the difference between the food they ate way back then and the food we eat nowadays, in the dorm that is.

Can you guess what I thought of the soup?

If you said, "I bet you gave it away." you are absolutely correct!

I also gave away the umeboshi and the tsukemono, those two things next to my fish.

Yeah, so all that was left was the piece of salmon, the rice, and the seaweed paper (a.k.a. nori) to wrap the rice in. Well, I didn't actually have to wrap up my rice, but the point was to make a rice ball (a.k.a. onigiri), so I did.

I didn't get as creative as some of the students, however, who chose to add some fish and/or other ingredients to their rice to make a "super onigiri."

I probably should have done the same, but for whatever reason, the thought never crossed my mind.

Maybe next time?

Total points: 4

Mik-u Jagger

I took one look at today's soup and knew I wasn't going to eat it, but I didn't have to make an effort to give it away.

You see, as soon as the soup landed on my tray, あかり asked me if I was going to eat it. I guess she must have known the answer was going to be "No."

(As you probably can imagine, I'm not shy about sharing my thoughts about the dorm food with the kids I sit with, and some of them seem to pay attention!)

あかり's next question was if she could have the soup. I guess she must have also known the answer to that question was going to be "Yes!"

It's amazing how easy it is to please Japanese kids at lunch.

Luckily, I didn't have to give away anything else on my tray, though, or I might have gone hungry.

The salad, despite the pesky cucumber pieces ("They're baaaaaaaack!"), was fine.

The main dish, because of the many potato chunks, was better. (I purposely grabbed the bowl with the mostest!)

I even had seconds (It's called "niku-jaga," but I call it "Mik-u Jagger," ha!), although I did have to stop the food server from showing me too much lovin'. I mean, let's be serious here: It's not that good.

Unfortunately, even today's appearance by the lead singer of the Rolling Stones failed to help this meal much.

Total points: 5

Chopstick Challenge

The first thing I did when I sat down to eat this food was dump my rice over the main course.

See how greasy the pork looks?

I mixed in the rice to try to soften the effect I figured it was going to have on my poor stomach.

I probably should have just passed, though. I can't tell you how often I have had to run to the restroom in the afternoon as a result of having eaten a Gokase School Lunch.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure the soup and salad, at least, were harmless. I made them even more so, however, by giving away that little piece of ham that looks so out of place in my salad as well as the three quail eggs that were sitting side-by-side in my soup. Thank you, HVC!

By the way, I should mention that I ate this meal left-handed. A few of the kids at school, perhaps all of them juniors, do that, so I try it from time to time, too. You can never challenge your brain enough, right?

Too bad the chopstick challenge doesn't increase a meal's score.

Total points: 4

Even The Fish Was Shaped Like A Wedge

Today's meal was a bit weird, but satisfying.

I guess what I mean by "weird" is that the meal wasn't exactly healthy, yet it tasted pretty good.

What else was weird is that I grabbed some rice, even though I don't really know why.

You guys know what I think of white rice, right? Yeah, so it makes no sense that I took some. I guess I must have been hungry.

Anyway, the macaroni salad tasted pretty good, but if I had a choice, I would have left off the mayonnaise. I'm not sure what I would have replaced it with, if anything, but I simply don't like mayonnaise. The mayo really wasn't overwhelming, though, which must be why I found the salad to be palatable.

As you can see in the second picture, HVC actually found the salad more than palatable. It looks like he had at least four bowls' worth.

As for the soup, well, I wasn't interested in eating it, so I gave that away. (Very few students or teachers ever waste their food, so I'm always glad when I can find a taker for the food I don't want.)

The fish was deep fried, so I probably should have passed on that, but it actually had quite a bit of favor.

The potato wedges also tasted pretty good, and were a surprise, since they weren't listed on the menu. Granted, the wedges were a bit cold, but I happen to love them, so I'll have to give a bonus point to the Lunch Lady for serving them.

A couple of the seniors I ended up sitting with after I got rid of my tray even treated me to some extra potato wedges, so I guess I could even say I had dessert today.

Overall, despite the drawbacks, this meal was one of the better ones I've had lately.

Total points: 6

Have Some More Rice With Your Rice

Umm... yeah...

If you know what my taste buds are like, you can tell just by looking at today's picture that I wasn't a happy camper at lunchtime.

As soon as I saw what was being served today, I thought to myself, "Rice and salad. Just great."

Even though I wasn't sitting with HVC today, I was sure that I'd find him and be able to offload my "undesirables."

Indeed, he took both the main dish (which I will call "Plate o' not-so-goodies") and the soup without hesitating whatsoever.

I then proceeded to eat my "salad," which hardly made a dent in my hunger (just check out that measly portion size!), as well as the rice, which, luckily, wasn't plain rice, but rather 大根菜ごはん (rice mixed with daikon greens).

It probably comes as no surprise to you that I didn't bother to get seconds of the "salad." I did, however, in the name of hunger, grab more rice.

Yeah, so if you think about it, my meal was essentially rice with rice. How nice!

Since when is rice a main course?

Total points: 2

Sue Take Key Don!

Hey, hey!

Yo, yo, yo!

Today, I re-discovered the secret to guaranteeing myself a pretty good meal for lunch here:

Pick a (rare) day when there are only a few people to serve.

Today was such a day, because today the only folks who were at school were the seniors and about half of the teachers (since most of them had the day off because they had to work this past Saturday).

Few people to serve = Big money to spend

Big money to spend = Sue Take Key Don

(also known as ステーキ丼, a.k.a. "Steak over rice, oh how nice.")

Hey, hey!

Like, like!

Needless to say, it was good.

The salad was pretty good, too, and once again, luckily, was missing the "C" word. (Big smile!)

I did give away the soup, however, which of course lowers this meal's score, but giveaways are to be expected, right?

I'm telling you, had I not been watching my figure, I'd gladly have gone for seconds of both the steak and the salad. (Part of me really wanted to pig out, but I decided to be content with one serving./

Oh, and check out what I got to drink today: Pineapple juice!

I guess the kids are served juice on most weekends, but since I never eat in the dorm then, I never knew about this little treat. It turns out that there was some left over from this morning's breakfast (which must have been treated like a weekend meal), and I was able to snag one of the last two cartons! Hooray for me!

Now I need to figure out how to get most of the kids to stay away from school for the rest of the school year! If I can manage that, I'll be eating like a king!

Total points: 7

Friday Curry is Back!

Friday curry is back, at least this one time, but check out what else is back:

Cucumber!

So much for never seeing that guy again. Ugh.

Anyway, I can't recall ever having "カツカレ" (curry with pork-cutlet) for lunch here.


Usually when you order this meal in a restaurant, you get one big cutlet sliced into relatively thin strips. Instead, as you can see, we got two round cutlets.

Either way, though, the pork is still deep-fried, which is a no-no. That's why I gave away one of my cutlets. I probably should have just given them both away, but I let my hunger get in the way of my health. Not a good idea.

The only other part of that dish that I gave away was the tiny bit of bacon that was floating on top of the sauce. All the rest went happily into my stomach.

Indeed, I am a big fan of curry.

The salad wasn't as tasty as the curry, but it was pretty good (minus the one bit of ham that I gave away). The funny thing is, the menu said we were having "almond salad." Sure enough, there were some almond slivers in there, but not enough to warrant naming the salad after them. Why not just be honest and call it a "cucumber salad"? (Ha ha ha ha ha!)

The dessert, as promised, really was fruit, and I was very happy with the choice: Strawberries. They were a bit sweet, which is just how I like them.

I even managed to freak out a couple of students by eating the stems along with the berries, but part of my job is to make the kids here think differently, right? (Mission accomplished.)

It's a rare day when I can say with honesty: ごちそうさまでした！(That was a nice meal!)

Total points: 8

Don't Judge A Salad By Its Cover

Today's lunch was just more of the same.

I guess the surprising thing about this meal, just like yesterday, was that again the salad had no cucumber.

What's going on here?

Could the Lunch Lady reading my blog?

Is the fictional bet regarding cucumber over?

Hmm...

Anyway, I actually ate the salad, despite the fact that it looked terribly unappetizing. At first, I thought about giving it away, but I was at least willing to try it. Amazingly, it wasn't bad. I guess that's because the tuna fish stood out enough.

I did give away the soup, however, without trying it, since I was sure I wouldn't like that. You'll just have to trust me on that one.

The fish was just OK, and, as always with this fish, I had to be careful to not eat any of the bones.

Maybe the word "deboned" isn't in the Japanese dictionary.

I was no where near full after this meal, but I'm trying my best to watch how much I eat, anyway, so it's all good.

Total points: 4

Happy New Meal!

I'm back to eating dorm food again. This was actually the sixth meal of 2012, but since I just got back from vacation, it was my first.

Since I hadn't had the food in so long, I actually forgot not how it tasted, (no, no, I'll never forget that!), but rather to bring my camera to the cafeteria.

I didn't notice that until after I had grabbed my food, however, so I had to leave my tray at the table while I ran to retrieve my camera.

In all honesty, I probably shouldn't have returned, since the food pretty much sucked!

Lucky for me, though, when I went back to my seat, I saw the HVC sitting right in front of me!

As soon as I took today's picture, I simply passed the HVC my soup and my main dish. I almost gave him my "salad" (Oh, my goodness! No cucumbers!) as well, but decided to give that a try, instead. It wasn't great, but it was edible.

I saved the rice for "dessert," believe it or not, but I would have preferred something truly sweet (unlike the rice!), such as a piece of cake, a cookie, or even an ice cream.

Total points: 2