Say Goodbye to 2011

This was yet another of those meals that made me ask myself, "Is that all?"

I mean, most of our meals consist of soup, salad, and a main dish, plus rice. This one was minus the soup, so it felt like there was something missing. I guess the cake was supposed to make up for that, however.

The main dish, the beef stew, was OK, but not what I was hoping for. I wanted a stew that was rich in potatoes, carrots, and meat, for instance, but what I got was mostly just small chunks of greasy beef, with not much more.

The bread wasn't much better, but at least I could dunk it in the stew to give it some added flavor.

The pumpkin salad was also a disappointment, because it was coated in that odd yellow sauce. Because of that, I couldn't stomach it and had to give it away. Why couldn't the Lunch Lady have drizzled some nice maple syrup over the pumpkin, for instance? Oh. I know why: Because that would have made it taste good.

The best part of this meal was clearly the (Christmas) cake, especially since we even had two flavors to choose from: strawberry and chocolate.

It's too bad that most of the kids chose to eat their cake using a paper spoon, though. Why can't they just use the spoon they ate their stew with? (C'mon Lunch Lady, ditch the waste!)

There was even some extra cake for those students who were still around and noticed it. I was satisfied with my one piece, but others were more than happy to get seconds. I even suggested to some girls that they make HVC earn his cake by guessing which of three boxes wasn't empty. Needless to say, he guessed right.

Total points: 6 (mostly thanks to the cake)

Yogurt Steals The Show

Curry! Yum!
Yogurt! Yum!
Cucumber!? Hmm...

Yeah, as you already know, I love curry.

OK, OK, let's not get carried away here. I don't exactly love curry (and today's variety wasn't the best we've ever had).

However, since curry is certainly on the list of Top 3 All-Time Best Dorm Meals, yeah, I love it. Yum!

And yogurt, well, yeah, I love the stuff. I even managed to get my hands on a second one, which made me even happier. Yum!

I just can't believe the Lunch Lady messed up with the salad, however.

Heck, with curry, who needs salad? Oh, yeah, I forgot: The Lunch Lady is trying to set that record for most days in a year serving cucumber. Sheesh.

Believe it or not, since I wanted no part of the salad but knew it was healthy, I dumped it on top of my curry and mixed it in, to the great surprise of the students sitting around me.

Hah!

I always love to shake things up a bit around here, any way I can, because most Japanese are so afraid to go away from the norm.

Oh, and check out the various ways the students eat the yogurt:

As you probably know by now, I used my spoon, which leaves me in the far minority.

Most students use the wasteful paper spoons to eat their yogurt.

A few students, who took both chopsticks and a spoon for their meal, used their chopsticks. (I've done that before just for fun!)

It's really too bad that I can't seem to convince students to stop using those ridiculous paper spoons, no matter how hard I try.

Total points: 7

Cucumber Sucks Bad, Octopus Sucks Good

Guess what? Today, cucumber was in our salad yet again! Go figure!

At least the cucumber was cut into thicker slices than normal, which somehow makes it taste a little better, and at least the salad included bits of octopus, which I really like.


Unfortunately, I happened to grab a salad that had very little octopus. That's why I decided to get seconds of the salad, and, in doing so, I made sure to take one that had a lot of the 8-legged creature's meat. Better yet, I was even able to give away the seconds of cucumber to HVC!

As for the soup, well, just look at it. Does that look like something you'd like to eat? Heck no! I did dig out some of the bits of meat that were in there, however, but then gave the rest away.

The fish was actually quite tasty. The only problem I had with the fish, as I've mentioned before on this blog, is that there were lots of bones to contend with. Luckily, I did not eat (or worse, choke on) any of them.

Oh, and the only reason I took rice again was that it was (semi-)wild rice. I'm telling you, though, plain wild rice tastes just about as bad as plain plain rice. Ugh.

I honestly do not understand the Japanese fascination with rice!

Total points: 5

(Note: There was no post yesterday since we had the day off in lieu of having to work on Saturday.)

Sick Joke?

As soon as I saw this meal, I knew it was danger. You see, today (yes, Saturday!) was the day the junior high school kids had their annual footraces and, since I planned to participate in the boys' 4.5 km race, which was scheduled to begin about an hour after lunch, there was no way I was about to eat that spicy tofu dish.


Believe it or not, the Lunch Lady had that same dish on the menu the day of this year's annual mini-triathlon, and I also passed on it back then. (One kid who ate his serving of spicy tofu had the unfortunate experience of puking it up the second he crossed the finish line!)

Is that just some kind of sick coincidence or what?

I don't know about you, Lunch Lady, but as far as I'm concerned, nothing good can come out of eating spicy food a couple of hours before an athletic competition.

The rest of the food on my tray looked fairly harmless, but, I kid you not, since most of the dorm food upsets my stomach to some degree, there was just no way I was going to touch any of it today.

I won't give it a zero, however, since on a normal day I would have at least nibbled at the tofu and had some of the soup.

Trust me, though: I wouldn't have liked either very much.

Total (virtual) points: 3

(Note: There was no post yesterday, because I missed lunch. I volunteered to play Santa Claus yesterday morning at a local elementary school and was treated to a delicious lunch afterward at my favorite restaurant in Gokase, Kajika.)

HVC And His Crew

The Lunch Lady didn't need a dictionary today, but I wish she'd stop serving cucumber. I suspect she must be trying to set a world record for how many times in one year one can serve cucumber.

Anyway, minus the ham (bloody hell, what's with the ham!?), the salad was actually pretty good today.


The soup was also pretty good, minus the ham. (Bloody hell, what's with the ham!?)

Finally, we have the "cheesy" chicken, which was also pretty good, even though it came with more onion and mushrooms than cheese.

Yeah, and for a few additional calories, I grabbed some (white) rice.

This was just a slightly-better-than-average meal, if you ask me.

Look at the extra picture I've included today, however, and you'll see that some students couldn't get enough of it.

I'm telling you, lately, a handful of sophomores have been doing quite a good job of impersonating champion eaters. Not only is "HVC" in on the action, as expected, but also some of his trusty henchmen.

They've truly been going to town, and it's a sight to behold!

Total points: 6

The Lunch Lady Needs A Dictionary

There were several problems with today's lunch.

For starters, there was apple, cucumber, and ham in what was supposed to be a "yogurt salad."

Are you as confused about that as I am?



I really don't know what a yogurt salad should like like, but if I had to make one, I'd probably put some yogurt and fruit in a bowl. Simple as that.

And you know what? I bet Gordon Ramsay would be proud.

What was the Lunch Lady thinking?

Yeah, and besides the yogurt salad that wasn't a yogurt salad, we had a fruit salad. The first problem with the fruit salad was that it didn't contain any apple, even though the yogurt salad (that wasn't a yogurt salad) did.

At first I wondered what was up with that, but then I realized that the apple was actually fresh, whereas the fruit that was in the fruit salad was from a can. God forbid we should ruin the (canned) fruit salad by adding some fresh apple to it. Blah.

The second problem with the fruit salad was that it contained balls of mochi and cubes of zeri, neither of which is a fruit. Double blah.

Another problem with this meal was that the "chili con carne" was actually no different from "pork and beans." What's worse is that in Japanese "chili con carne" is actually called "chili con kan."

What, my friends, is "kan?"

Is it really so difficult to write "chili con karune" in katakana?

Katakana, you suck!

Chili con kan, you suck, too!

Yeah, so my meal consisted of two bowls (I had seconds) of "fruit salad" and one bowl of rice.

Can you feel my excitement?

Oh, and someone please get the Lunch Lady a dictionary! Thanks!

Total points: 3

Lonely Fish

Just check out that little ol' piece of fish on that big ol' plate.

All I could think about as soon as I saw my plate was how lonely that fish must have felt.

I wonder if the fish was supposed to be served with cabbage.


Come to think of it, we haven't had cabbage for a while, so maybe that really is what's missing. In any case, something is missing from that plate.

The poor fish.

At least it tasted good, even though the sauce was a bit much.

The rest of the meal was a disaster.

I tried the salad, which, remarkably, contained cucumber (LOL/www), but it was a loser, so I gave it away.

I didn't try the soup, which I knew was a loser, so I just gave that away, too.

Great meal.

At least I was able to snag a second piece of fish, even though I had to wait until 12:50 to do so.

The wait was worth it.

Total points: 5

Too Much Cucumber, Not Enough Chicken

As all of you loyal readers (LOL/www) can tell by the picture, today's meal was a Family Meal.

Why else would I have both a spoon and chopsticks (what a waste)?

And why else would I have a plate for my bread (more waste)?

Oh, and too bad the members of my "family" don't know me well enough to make sure I got my grape-flavored yogurt drink rather than milk. Doh!

It's also too bad that today's gobo (burdock) salad had ... drumroll, please ... cucumber in it. Oddly enough, it also had bits of squid in it. I did eat it all, but I wasn't thrilled about it.

Dear Lunch Lady: I've had it up to here (I'm pointing at my neck) with cucumber. Enough is enough. And burdock has no flavor. It's useless. Squid, however, tastes good, so leave out the bad and just serve us squid. Got it?

As for the main dish, well, it's supposed to be some kind of chicken and corn concoction, or perhaps CCC (or C3). I have to say, the two main ingredients were pretty good, but what I don't understand is why we didn't get more chicken and why the dish had to be served in that soupy sauce.

Can you hear my stomach growling? Yeah, that's my stomach.

At least the soupy sauce was good for dipping the bread in, because otherwise the bread would have been pretty darn tasteless.

I thought about giving away my dessert, but in the end, after hesitating for several minutes, I decided to dig in, after all. The "zeri" is certainly nothing to write home about.

I miss the days when we used to get tasty desserts! Ugh.

Total points: 5

Fluid Lunch

When I walked into the cafeteria today, I knew this wasn't going to be a good meal.

Just look at the main dish, after all.

All I did was nibble at it and then give the rest (which was 99% of it) away.


I'm also not a big fan of those candied potato wedges better known as "college potatoes," so after eating one of them and confirming that, indeed, I didn't really want to eat them although they were edible, I made friends at my table by giving them away.

Hooray for me.

Yeah, so all that was left to eat was the soup and rice. How wonderful.

Even though the rice was brown rice, rather than the white rice that we usually have, it pretty much sucked.

The soup saved the day, however.

Just like yesterday's soup, this one wasn't the best in the world by any stretch of the imagination, but it was warm and sort of soothing on yet another cold day, so I grabbed seconds.

Too bad my lunch basically consisted of fluids.

Ugh.

Total points: 4

Salt 'n Peppa Would Have Been Hamburger Helpa

OK! We finally got back to almost having what you could call a proper meal.

For starters, the soup bordered on delicious.

I mean, I really wouldn't go that far, but there was just something about it that I liked.


It certainly didn't taste outstanding, but it was warm, which was nice on this cold day, and it had some spiciness, which gave it a bit of zing. I liked the soup so much that I made sure to get seconds.

The salad, however, just didn't do it for me, because right now I'm really, really, really sick of seeing cucumber. The flavor of today's salad wasn't all that bad, but I just couldn't stomach eating another bite of the green stuff. No, thank you!

The hamburger wasn't exactly a winner, but it's hard to mess up hamburger. I would have been much happier if the mushroom sauce had been replaced by simple salt and pepper, but I was still happy to eat the meat.

Finally, we have the potato wedges. Since they act as comfort food for me, I was quite pleased with them, even though they were cold as stone. I refrained from getting seconds, however, since I didn't want to overeat.

Overall, this meal was one of the better ones we've had lately.

Total points: 6

Sloppy Sukiyaki

This one was yet another not-so-pleasant-on-the-stomach meal.

For one, my stomach wasn't happy because the meal wasn't very filling. See, I gave away both the salad and the soup. I simply looked at them, said "Yuck!" and passed them on to the first taker.

For two, my stomach wasn't very happy, because the remaining main dish, sukiyaki, was rather greasy. It tasted good enough for me to go get seconds, but not before I apologized to my stomach for putting it through the torture.

I wish the Lunch Lady knew what the difference between "food" and "slop" was.

Total points: 5

A Daikon And Fish Marriage Gone Wrong

This fishy meal wasn't very satisfying.

Surprise, surprise!

Yeah, so I gave away the soup, as I'm sure you guessed.

I did eat the salad, but it did nothing for my taste buds.


The fish was just fish. Why this fish is always served with daikon is beyond me. I just don't get the appeal.

There's nothing else for me to say about this one.

Blah.

Total points: 4

Dragon's City Does It Better

Cucumbers, anyone? Who wants cucumbers?

Yes, cucumbers. In the salad. Again. This is getting so old. Ugh.

And what's with the egg shavings? I just don't get it.

Salad: Passed it to HVC.


The soup wasn't much better. I've had this seaweed-and-bamboo-shoot soup plenty of times, so I knew it was edible, but after having a few tastes, I put my bowl down and decided it wasn't doing it for me. If anything, it was taking my appetite away!

Soup: Gave the rest of it to HVC.

All that was left to eat was the Lunch Lady's version of "Cashew Nut Chicken."

Frankly, I much prefer the kind I used to order at the Chinese restaurant down the street from where I grew up, Dragon's City Restaurant.

Dragon's City knows how to make cashew nut chicken, the Lunch Lady not so much.

OK, the dish wasn't that bad, especially because I mixed the rice in with it, but I could have done without all the grease. I even got seconds of it, but if you look at how much my "firsts" were, you can see why I needed some more food.

Total points: 5

Snap And Grab

Today's lunch was yet another that left me totally unsatisfied.

In a way, this kind of meal is like a "smash and grab," except that I would call it a "snap and grab." You see, I snap a picture and then let anyone who wants to grab (some of) my food.


I guess Wednesday's meal would have been a better qualifier for the "snap and grab" award, because today all I gave away was the main dish, but still, I think you get the point.

After ridding myself of the "hot mess," I hesitated for quite some time before I finally started to eat the salad, since I was worried that the creamy-looking stuff was mayonnaise, which would have ruined the salad for me. I have no idea what the sauce actually was, but at least it wasn't the dreaded mayo. With every bite I took, I kept imagining I was going to taste mayo, however, so it was hard to really enjoy the salad. I basically had to keep telling myself, "It tastes fine, really. It tastes fine."

The other thing about the salad was, as you might have guessed, the fact that it contained cucumbers, even though it was called "macaroni salad." I asked some of the kids I was sitting with what was up with that and the main answer I got was that Japanese regularly eat cucumber. You could have fooled me!

As for the bread, well, it was as bland as it could be, and it had no trace whatsoever of cheese, even though it was supposedly "cheese bread." Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, Lunch Lady.

Luckily, the "meal" ended on a good note, with dessert in the form of "calcium yogurt."

While eating the good stuff, however, I gave some of my tablemates grief for using paper spoons to eat theirs, rather than the spoons they had already used to eat their "hot mess." After quite a bit of back and forth, the conclusion on the part of the paper-spoon users was that they are not wasting the paper spoons, since the spoons will be tossed into the garbage whether they are used or not. I find that hard to believe and ended the discussion by saying that the Lunch Lady shouldn't even be buying paper spoons in the first place.

Unfortunately, none of the kids I discussed the matter with told me that they would stop using the paper spoons in the future, so I guess I will have to try again some other day to get them to see the light.

At the very least, you could say today's lunch was educational, so I'll add a point for that!

Total points: 5

The Proof Of The Pudding Is In The Eating Of The Salad

Lucky for me, there was plenty of sesame dressing to go around today. Then again, I got to the cafeteria early.

In any case, the dressing made the shredded cabbage edible and also allowed me to consume extra calories in the form of plain ol' white rice (since I wouldn't have taken it had there been no sauce).

I wasn't so thrilled about eating the chicken, primarily because it was prepared "pork cutlet style." Fried chicken is still fried chicken (any way you slice it) and I really should have passed on it. Next time, I will.

The soup was a disappointment, even though I've had it plenty of other times and knew exactly what to expect. You probably can't tell just by looking at the picture, but that's supposed to be "pumpkin soup." Yeah, sure. Throw in some bits of pumpkin and call it pumpkin soup. Whatever rocks your boat, I guess...

Lastly we have the salad.

That could have been a real winner, since it had quite a bit of tuna fish in it. Unfortunately, however (for me, that is!), it also had quite a bit of daikon, which ended up nullifying the tuna flavor. Ugh!

Check out what the HVC (Human Vacuum Cleaner, a.k.a. Mr. Honda) thought of the salad, though. That picture is no lie. The HVC had seven, yes SEVEN, servings of the salad.

Unreal.

Total points: 4 (not 7!)